Are You a Crab In A Bucket?

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When I was modeling for the shopping channel one of the other models told me something that got me thinking.  We were having a conversation about life and human behaviour.  So basically we realize and experienced groups of people that don’t like to see their peers succeed or strive for success.  Many people easily become envious of others.  She explained that the human behaviour is the same behaviour that crabs demonstrate.  If the fisherman puts one crab in a bucket, the crab will climb out of the bucket to freedom.  When two or more crabs are put into the bucket, every time one crab tries to climb to freedom another crab will fight for the other crab to stay in the bucket.  

People can be just like crabs in a bucket.  The crab does not believe she/he can achieve freedom so the crab tries to prevent others from achieving freedom.  The reality is that there are a lot of people in this world that will say and do things to put others down.  Once we realize that these people are just “crabs” then we can become stronger.  If we do not let these crabs break our confidence then we can achieve our goals.  If you let the crab bring you down then you will become the crab who gets picked on and you will become a failure just like the other crabs.  

I know that some people may never change.  As a woman I experience and witness this crab mentality with mainly females.  Most of my life I felt like I was surrounded by too many “crab like” people until I graduated high school.  When I was younger most of the people who I called friends were nothing more than people to hang around with and go to parties.  When I finished high school I decided to only keep the people in my life who are valuable and who have a good attitude.  Now I do not feel like a crab in a bucket which has allowed me to reach this freedom state of mind that I am in now.  Sometimes when we are young we think the friends we have now are the only friends we will ever have and if we take these people out of our lives then what friends will we left with?  People are afraid of being alone so they rather stay with the “crabs in the bucket” then risk being alone.  I have learned that for every time I remove a “crab like” person from my life a new more valuable person enters.  People are afraid of the unknown, if all you ever known is being a “crab in that bucket” then you may fear leaving and being alone.  The truth is that if you don’t leave that comfort zone to become a real person then you will be lonelier being a “crab in a bucket”.  When you start to leave the “bucket of crabs” you are living in will become stronger and boost confidence.

Link To Crab Fight

International Women's Day

International Women’s Day takes place every year on March 8th. This day exists to celebrate the respect, appreciation, and love towards women, along with their economic, political and social achievements.  Globally, the 2012 theme for International Women’s Day is Connecting Girls, Inspiring Future.                                         

The ideas and celebrations behind Women’s Day is meant to be liberating and inspiring to people all over the world, however the reality is that we do not live in a perfect world, and women still suffer in their own unique way on a continuous basis. Many girls across the globe struggle to accept themselves for who they really are, and suffer with the idea that they have to look the way the media portrays women to be. Too many girls do not feel beautiful. Too many girls are not comfortable with their appearance. Too many girls lack confidence, resulting in disrespecting their bodies, eating disorders or mental health conditions. Young girls should not feel worthless and should not feel afraid to have standards.

For March, 8th, 2012 Women of all ages will be posting a self profile picture with no makeup, to give hope and to inspire females everywhere to get in touch with their natural beauty.

If Jersey Shore’s star, Snooki, can feel comfortable posting a picture without her famous poof and without wearing her many make up products for the world to see, then why not show your friends your own true beauty. This International Women’s Day, make a difference in women’s lives and help raise awareness.

The secret lifestyle to confidence

Click on the model above to see a better view.

I have created this model that outlines how I balance my lifestyle in order to achieve confidence.  The Permanent Confidence Balance Model relates to both men and women.  Below briefly explains each area on the balance model.  If you have any questions about this model click comments at the bottom of this article.

Quick Fix: Quick fixes are what I refer to as beauty solutions which provide temporary confidence. For example covering acne with make up or wearing types of clothes that hide your unwanted body shape.  A quick fix is a small stepping stone towards permanent confidence.  I don’t like to rely on a quick fix because I believe in targeting the root of the problem.  I know a lot of women who are only confident when they have their quick fix. Once all the 7 areas of permanent confidence are balanced the quick fix is not needed.   

Health: I believe health is one of the most important areas in achieving confidence.  A balance of diet, fitness, overall health and hygiene will contribute to a healthy mind which will boost confidence.  Also, a health problem is a worry and I believe the more worries in our life the more our confidence will decrease.  

Diet:   First of all, diet is not a bad word!  The “D word” has gained a bad reputation.  When I talk about diet I am not talking about starvation.  I am talking about learning to eat healthy.  What we put into our bodies will not only affect how we look on the outside but will also contribute to our overall health.   

Fitness: When I talk about fitness contributing to confidence, I don’t mean that you have to be super thin or super muscular.  Physical activities such as working out or playing sports are known to make us feel good, even if we are already content with our body shape.  When we feel good we are likely to boost confidence and build a positive self esteem.     

Overall Health: Everything else health related can effect confidence.  We all have different bodies, health levels and situations.  From a healthy heart, nervous system, liver, teeth, skin and so on.  Learning to balance our overall health can make us feel good about ourselves.     

Hygiene: Hygiene is pretty basic for most people, however I have witnessed people who seem to struggle in this area. This might be a touchy subject for some people, but it is extremely important to practice proper hygiene.  Regularly cleanliness and grooming will contribute to excellent hygiene, which will not only make us feel more comfortable but will also make us more attractive to the people around us

Ego Control: There is a difference in being confident and being conceited.  In the process of self esteem building an ego can get in the way.  Egos can trick us into making wrong decisions in almost all areas of life.  It is important to recognize if we have an ego that needs to be controlled.

Personality:

Hobbies/Interest: When we find activities we like
and are good at it can boost confidence.   

Attitude Towards Life: Balancing a healthy positive attitude towards life can create a positive energy within that will contribute to a positive self esteem.   

Attitude Towards People: I believe that human energy’s are contagious.  If we attract and surround ourselves with confident people their energy will make us feel good and will make us more confident.  Those who are judgmental and negative will probably attract people with low self esteem who are judgmental and negative.  Also, people who are cold hearted appear to be ugly.  

Strength/Weakness Discovery: Discovering what we are good at can boost confidents and is it important to express these strengths in a healthy way.  We all have weaknesses which can make us feel like failures if they are not managed.  Learning how to live comfortably with our weaknesses will help us feel emotionally stable.  

Knowledge: I believe knowledge is power and that power makes us feel confident.  Learning a new skill or concept can be challenging, however the feeling of accomplishment is truly amazing.   

Goal Setting: Goal Setting is extremely important.  Those who have low self esteem are not confident for a reason.  When we discover why we are not confident we can then set specific goals to achieve confidence.  We don’t need to wait for New Years to set goals.  I like to write down all my goals and after each goal is accomplished the feeling is great.

Positive Relationships:  
With Others: I believe our relationships have a big impact on the way we feel about ourselves.  Having good relationships with the people we call family is always more important because they will always be family, therefore these relationships will face challenges at some point.  We choose our friends but we can't choose our family.  Having positive relationships with friends and family are very important.   

With Yourself: Having a relationship with yourself seems to be a new concept for some people.  It is good to know how to enjoy spending time with others but it is also important to know how to be alone.  This also means getting to know yourself better.  A lot of people don’t feel comfortable alone but I believe in getting out of that comfort zone in order to boost confidence.